Hopes and Expectations

July 20th 2010

I don’t know what to expect for my trip to the Galapagos, so I expect nothing at all. I don’t picture my living arrangements, I don’t picture my work atmosphere, I don’t even picture what my food will be like, because whatever I think up will be absolutely wrong. I see it this way, If I don’t picture anything= I wont get disappointed or scared about anything.

Like overdrinking

Overthinking is poisonous

Yet real addicting

Instead of going with the flow and remaining in the now

Our wonder drifts away somehow

 Either I’m a crazy overanalyzing every single situation I go through and experience, or life really does have a purpose. To be honest I don’t really give a damn if that’s true or not, acting on impulse, doing what feels right, pursuing what I feel passionate about while feeling as “at peace” and happy and balanced as possible is what is the way I have chosen to live my life.

We’re stuck in space and time

I often find myself blind by wealth and dreaming of the future

When I should rest my worried chest and focus on the present

Notice I said nothing about a certain career or money? I don’t believe happiness has to involve something that tangible. When you are truly trusting in yourself you can’t do no wrong however once you doubt yourself, everything will crumble around you fast; Disaster caused to yourself by yourself.

Stuck in the past are thoughts that last

“What if” as if life’s not a gift

Terrified people surround us. So many people, people that are absolutely terrified of risk, failure or rejection. Some people would rather not take risks and live the safest life possible instead of putting themselves out there.  Some people care so much about what they think, that are so afraid and ashamed of being their “true” selves or thinking too far outside of the box, (get in, fit in or get out). So I chose to  get out…. Of the country for a breathe of fresh air, and a fresh way of life.

We have a breath, our health and depth yet

Tomorrow’s threats paralyze us with fear

When it should be clear you are nowhere

Near free if you cannot see the magic

of right now.

People call me crazy for wanting to travel to the other side of the world, not only to contribute to what they are doing, but also to help myself grow and learn from them, to help myself out of the sickness that so many people in this day and age suffer from: The fear of the unknown, or what us open minded people refer to as “ignorance” I challenge myself to draw a self portrait one day while keeping my mind completely open, making it the most abstract and symbolical picture that I have ever drawn.

You should be proud and not worried

To cry for yesterday or tomorrows problems

Is insane

So much self induced pain, when you shouldn't strain to be content

You have problems? Put them away if you cant solve

them because life isn’t guaranteed

I come from a home of worriers. Instead of adopting my family’s ways, I became the exact opposite. I felt a bit suffocated while growing up, and that's never a good thing. I truly believe that worrying only feeds the negative vicious cycle that makes people believe life and “stress” are one in the same. It’s not only possible to live without stress, its crucial to absolute happiness (which should be everyone’s life goal)

End of Journal Entry:

Reading this again kind of makes me laugh a little bit; Simply because sometimes stress is a parasite that creeps up on you. I constantly have to remind myself to relax because some situations are stressful by nature. Worrying feeds them and makes them stronger, if you let those kind of negative things win you over, you will lose all light and happiness in your life. . . .and slowly start going crazy.