From Pavement to Grass - The big Change

Reflecting on my transformation 

2 weeks before my departure to the Galapagos

July 15th 2010

In the city where I belong

I always hear the same old songs

but I love them so there’s nothing wrong - cm

I’ve always been a city girl that lived in a cemented world. With no back yards, just balconies. Seagulls and pigeons were the only 2 bird types I saw. Cats, dogs and caged animals, not to mention the occasional telephone wire squirrel were the only animals I was ever exposed to on a regular basis. Flies, bees, mice, ants and spiders, were all pests that should immediately be killed when found inside of a house. My view of the world was simple, the city was for people, and the forests were for animals that don’t belong in houses. My family, my neighbors, and all of my acquaintances separated ourselves from nature, in exchange for the fast city life that was simply “safer”. I spent a full 20 years with that mentality, believing the city was the “advanced” and modern way of life. I even pitied those that lived otherwise. . . In the “boonies” or the middle of nowhere, me and my friends would laugh and say things like “That would be so boring! And if you screamed nobody would hear you, or be able to save you!” I know it's a little extreme, but  I promise you I'm not exaggerating. Real city slickers :) And we were proud. 

Its what I know

No need to show

me anything new,

 I would not go - cm

It wasn’t until 2 years ago, after moving out on my own for school, and meeting people from all over that it clicked. “hmmmmm. ..Maybe there is more than one way to live happily, and the city life isn’t the pinnacle of lifestyles". Both of my first year roommates were from the country. I loved them both to death, and slowly but surely, I opened doors that were once sealed shut and let them in. 

I took a peek

outside the box

And what I found

Blew off my socks - cm

I fell in love with the fresh air! The air was amazingly fresh, and that was the biggest thing for me, coming from a city nicknamed “steel city” because its known for its many many many steel factories, I didn’t notice my city had a smell, until I left, and came back home to visit, and felt like I needed a gas mask to breathe! It was ridiculous, and I was so confused. And because of my new discoveries, my visits home became so bittersweet. Sweet because I missed my wonderful family, friends and neighbors, but bitter because the stench of the polluted air that filled my lungs suddenly made me want to vomit. “uh oh what’s happening to me!” I felt like I was transforming into a different person. Even handsome boys couldn’t distract me from the smell. Who would have thought that once upon a time they were a cure all.  . . or at least a temporary band-aid for all things. 

The city boys 

That brought me joys

By the way they talked

The way they walked

The clothes they wore

Straight from the store - cm

 I used to think of myself as a professional boy reader. I always knew what to say, and how to act around boys. I knew what they wanted, and how to make them laugh. I knew how to flirt with them, and what makes them drool. But then, “Nature boy enters left stage” then suddenly my scripted love life, became improvisation. The stage broke, and the curtain fell. He didn’t laugh at my jokes, compliment my outfit, call me sexy, or buy be anything to try to get my attention. He didn’t wear nice clothing, didn’t have smooth lines, and was the strangest person I’ve ever met in my life. The one boy I couldn’t relate to in any way shape or form, at least not at first. But my new goal became to find a way, into this mysterious mans eyesight. What I thought was charm and grace, I suddenly realized just how fake, my whole “game plan” was. He made me question myself, he made me curious about what he was thinking and didn’t do anything, ANYTHING even remotely similar to any other man I’ve ever met. And you guessed it, I was in love. 

There are so many clones

but you shake my bones

you are so unique

you’re such a freak! 

just so damn strange

And I like your change

but you cant see me because I’m the same  - cm

Cities are so close knit, that I think people act the same because its just easier that way. Don’t get me wrong, there are many unique people in the city, but they are about as common as a breath of fresh air in steel city. It was only after giving up, that he finally gave me the time of the day, he even gave me a location, and asked me on a date. I have to be the biggest eater I know, boys, girls, grown men, I can out eat them all like it’s my job. But on this date, both of us didn’t touch our food. The butterflies in our stomach was satisfying enough for the both of us. 2 years later, this nature boy has showed me things I never knew existed. We went on hikes, canoe trips, camping and his intense knowledge of nature and its functions is what surprised me the most. I knew nothing about it! and I mean NOTHING at all, so everything that came out of his mouth I was hearing for the first time. We are still madly in love, city slicker and nature boy, and it couldn’t be more perfect. . . . 

You've opened my eyes

And to my surprise

I've realized

what I "despised" 

Was what I loved

But in disguise - cm

End of journal entry  

I’ve always liked to travel, but since I met this nature loving man, my traveling preferences have transformed from resort/big city traveling to community/nature adventure traveling. Now when I travel I like to immerse myself in the culture of the country and learn from them. Also, my studies has allowed me to discover “global development” thats a fancy world for “humanitarian”. There are so many different projects you could take part in during travels. You not only learn enough to fill a book but you also acquire new skills, develop yourself and go back home a changed person. Thank You Nature boy, for helping me discover the more simple things in life that I was ignorant to for so many years. 

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for the next entry.