It's real now

July 30th 2010

When I woke up in Ecuador, everything felt like a dream. I was surprised to see that I wasn’t waking up in my little apartment in Canada. My “dream” was real, and I was really gone from home. The city of Quito is very developed, not much different than Canada, except for the amazing Mountain right in the middle of the city. Today I’m feeling a bit lightheaded, which is to be expected in the second highest city in the world (almost 4000 feet above sea level).

The view from my window:

For some reason, I was scared to get out of my room. Everyone was already up and I heard chatting, laughing, the buzz of a T.V. all completely in Spanish. I suddenly I was petrified, it’s as if I just realized what I got myself into. As if I just realized that all of the people that called me crazy, were absolutely right.

Now that it was real

All I could feel is Panic

 I’m far away from home

 all alone

in a country that isn't my own

But then I heard a light knock on the door, when I opened it I was greeted by little Ana Maria and her great big smile “Buenos Dias, Dormiste Bien?”. Her warmth was soothing, and my panic disappeared. I remembered why I was here, and whatever she made for breakfast smelt delicious. I went to the dining room, and was the last to join the table along with her sister, Helena, that I met the night before, two very adorable little boys and a young American girl named Laura. She’s another intern that's been here for two months already that’s from Boston University. Unfortunately she was off to work right after breakfast, but promised to leave work early to spend the day with me and show me around.

As promised, Laura was back around 11:30am, and she absolutely adores Ecuador. Apparently, if you want to take the day off, they allow you without problems, especially when its for a friend or a family member. If only Canada was more like Ecuador, we need to be dying to miss a day of work, though family may come first, it's never a good enough excuse "my brothers play" didn't get me my day off at the Callcentre I worked at. . . .so then I called in sick. Laura said something strange to me "I was glad to hear that a Canadian girl was arriving, Canadians are generally nice people."As sterotypic as it sounds, I've also noticed this fact. For example, if you go to some European countries, such as Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, England and France, "hello, how are you?" isn't a question you would hear from a stranger. In fact, you will strait up get ignored, or shunned for the most part. I'm not saying that means they are not nice people, I am saying, Canadians are much less intimidating to approach because of their very welcoming greetings to strangers.

Canadians have such a good rep

and thats across the globe

but we're obsessed with the U.S.

and Everybody knows

you shouldn't want to be like the U.S

Right?

Laura is a future doctor, she volunteers at a hospital in the mountains. Hearing her experiences so far with such excitement, brightness and great big smile, makes me excited to start my own little Ecuadorian adventure. Lauren was kind enough to show me around and how easily accessible the city is, if you have a map, two legs and a heartbeat. She erased al of my fears by letting me know that the frustration I felt with my lack of understanding of the 1000 words per minute Spanish is normal. She assured me by telling me she felt much worse, and my level is already 10X better than hers was just 2 months ago. She have me cool Ecuadorian slangs that I could use too like “Chevre” ß which means “cool” but funny enough, also means “goat” in French, my first language.

Everything you require

Will work out

Like you desire

With no doubt

But you must trust

In the world

And yourself

Pretty girl

Ana Maria bought me a book about Ecuador tourism, it had fantastic pictures, clear maps and it was written in both English and Spanish! Which is fantastic for someone that wishes to practice. She also cooked for me, cleaned for me, helped my find my lost Visa Card. . . Though it was a false alarm. But best of all, she opened up to me, and shared her desires of seeing the world. Ecuador is very strict when it comes to travelling. The people are literally imprisoned in their country and it’s very difficult to travel if you’re not doing it for school, or work. The process is long and painful that so many people give up trying to travel. She told me that I could send her a formal letter of invitation, and that would help her travel and see Canada, so I promised her I will.

It’s strange to see

This place could be

My escape

And your prison

At the same time

 After Dinner, everyone kind of went their separate ways, either to watch tv. read, write or prepare for bed. And just like that, I completed my very first day away from my Country. If I could survive one day, why not two? or three? or four? ...why was I scared to get out of my room in the morning? I'm already beginning to learn a lot of new things about myself. As confident as I seem to be, with a change of scenery, I feel like a wallflower would describe me better then a lioness does at the moment. At the end of this trip, I hope to become more and more fierce like a Lioness, and gain the respect from myself as well as everyone I encounter at first glance because of my presence and pride. . . one day i shall Growl, but until then, whispering is good. I have a long way to grow.

End of Journal Entry: 

All of the pictures of this posting were taken by yours truly in Quito at a Park named "La Carolina" I lived right across the street from it, and it was a great place to sit and write.

Except for the Canadian/American Flag...that was a present from Google Images :)

I don't even remember feeling this way, reading it and re-living what I wrote through memories was an experience on its own. 

The flight

July 29^th

Leaving my Future husband at the airport was very sad. We were both at a lost for words and just staring at each other sadly. He then gave me a long hug and whispered that he loves me and will miss me in my ear. The moment was far to tense, so I did what I always do in moments like these, and cracked a silly joke so we can ease up and smile a little. : “Hey, I’m not dying buddy!” J and mission accomplished. I then whipped out my camera and asked him some questions, we laughed and kissed, and then I was on my way.

No matter how hard you try and try

It’s always sad to say goodbye

When I get nervous I babble, just a little bit, and I also find comfort in friendly strangers. So as the plane departed, I started looking around for some good company then I spotted a young girl that was studying Spanish just like me. Her name was Aveeva, she was going to Quito and had told me stories about her previous time in the Galapagos, and things I should look forward to and be aware of: “they love nicknames, sometimes their nicknames will tease you a bit, but don’t take it personally, it’s a form of endearment”. I thanked her for her great insight and let her know I was nervous. We chatted a bit and shared some stories of travel and adventure and she really made me feel comfortable. We even practiced some Spanish together. She was from North Carolina, and was going on a medical internship to a hospital in Quito for 4 months. It was comforting to meet another ruthless traveller, I’m the only one I know in my group of friends, and being a minority is never easy.

Never alone with strangers near

Potential friends you shouldn’t fear

Friends on the plane

Have kept me sane

Hard to feel pain

When I’m smiling

After a nap I woke up to a sudden dip in the planes smooth flying. It looked like it was going to crash into buildings when we were landing.  The Quito airport is right in the middle of the city and is surrounded with malls, apartment buildings, hotels and shops. When I got off the plane I said . . .  and a man picked me up at the airport with a paper with my name written on it I found I was relieved when I saw him. I wouldn't have to awkwardly ask strangers, and my fear of getting kidnapped was diminished. But only slightly. Human trafficking is real, and it’s one of those things that nobody thinks will ever happen to them, so when it does, they feel stupid for not even considering the situation possibility. So I’m considering it at least, because you never know right? Why not me? What makes me so lucky?

A name on a sign

That looked like mine

It felt sublime

Its adventure time

I’ve always wanted to keep a journal because there’s nothing more motivating that reading what you used to be and comparing it to who you have become. Keeping tags on detailed feelings that you’ve felt at the moment is amazing. It gives you a better understanding of yourself, because you are your emotions. This is my first night here in Quito and I must say, so far so good. I’ve been getting a big confidence boost as far as my Spanish goes. I’ve gotten such great feedback from the very welcoming driver Jose. And my height being so overwhelming for the little man, made for a fantastic icebreaker. My giantness can come in handy. He has two daughters and thought one of them was tall, but she’s nothing compared to me, and he wanted me to have dinner with his family the following day so he can show everyone. I am in no position to pass up friendship, or a free dinner, so I accepted without hesitation. We arrived at a small building in 15 minutes, and a little woman greeted me at the door. Her name was Ana Maria, and when she first saw me, she looked surprised that I wasn't wearing heels, smiled and gave me a hug. Her arms were wrapped tightly around my lower back, that's how small she was. She kept repeating “que linda! que linda!” which means “how pretty! how pretty!”

At 6’3’’ I feel like a freak

But the words you speak

Are kind

You think I’m unique

I’m blind

I should see me through your eyes

When we got to her house, that was on the second floor, she told me that God has blessed me with height and beauty. She even woke up her sister just to show me to her, her sister was 10x more enthusiastic than her. I usually feel weird and awkward about my height. But they’re making me feel like it's the best thing in the world. Her sister kept repeating: “Como una Barbie, alta y flaka como una Barbie” Which translates to, “like a Barbie, tall and skinny like a Barbie!” This made me blush. As outgoing as I thought I was as a person, standing out and drawing this much attention in a country that isn’t mine scares me.

If everyone sees me like you

I have no clue

What I will do

Theres so much for me to learn, not only about Ecuador but about myself. This awkward feeling I'm feeling, like an alien on another planet, I hope that fades with time. This is fantastic, its crazy and everything is so different already. After a tour of her humble home, she showed me to my room and I quickly fell asleep after a long day of travel.

End of Journal Entry:

I promised myself I would write exactly what is in my journal. Which means I couldn't even leave out the embarrassing details. I guess being tall DOES have it’s advantages socially. I may not blend in well, but maybe that's a good thing. Just maybe, we’ll see.

But Why?

July 28^th

I leave tomorrow and I’m so excited I can’t sleep.

I had a very interesting conversation today with a good friend of mine, that doesn't understand “why” I’m doing this. The exact words were

 “Why even bother? Do you think you’re really making a difference? You’re leaving your friends and family and putting yourself at risk and for what? I just don't get it”

It is so hard to put into words how much I care about the environment. People find it crazy to leave their comfortable situations at home and go to the most remote islands in the world, live in a shack pretty much, and spend your days doing conservation work and planting trees and stuff. I come from a big city where there is less than 5 % of its forest. There are countries with constant smog, where you can see the dark grey colour of the air in the cities, and its not normal. The whole entire world’s air supply is highly reliant on the little rainforests there are left in the Southern countries of Latin America.

This empathy controlling me

I see will never set me free

To be happy I need to be

The changes that I wish to see

In conservation and Preservation

I’ll always book a reservation

And heal the world or die trying

Because I can’t ignore it’s crying

I’ve always been a “do something” person. Talking about things without getting off your butt has always drove me absolutely CRAZY! Maybe because my mom did it too many times (I love her to death) but she has always had big dreams, and has been vocal about them, but never once got off the couch and into the world to actually do something about this and move her dreams forward. Despite her flaws, she has raised my brothers and I to do just that. To never let the “circumstances” blur our vision. She has always told us that we can do ANYTHING and everything if we just believed. Nobody can stop you from achieving your dreams, but yourself. Obstacles are just a test to see how bad you want it. If you don't want it that bad, they will stop you with ease. This is an opportunity of a lifetime, and I would be a fold to pass it up out of fear or doubt. As scary as it is to go all the way to the other side of the world to do something that I believe in. I’ve never felt more empowered in my life, and I’m filled with adrenaline not knowing what’s to come.

We’re dying as a species

And denying, full of feces

Or to be Frank, just full of shit

And the rich will never quit

Money, and pain for personal gain

I go insane thinking about it

I went to school and for “International Business” and Global Deveopment. I was taught the rold of international business, IN global development. Those fancy words just mean that all of the HUGE corporations that will put everyone out of business if we let them like the “ Walmart, Kmart and etc”  HOW they price their things so cheaply, and who suffers in the process. Dave Suzuki does a great job at explaining the current situation of the world with his books, talks and show “The nature of things.” National Geographic has constant proof about the toll our current way of life is taking on the planet. Even Al Gore’s “An inconvenient truth” as much controversy as the video has made, we are ignoring the moral of the message.  The world is changing, and not for the better. Like everybody else, hearing and knowing this fact put me in instant doubt. I didn't believe it, or want to believe it. Suddenly I was a scientist and said things like “that's stupid, it doesn't make sense, this is all a scam”

So my brain represses

While my pen confesses

Even I see bliss

In Ignorants dismiss

Of facts and acts I fear the most

I’m brave enough to admit

My pride is taking a hit

But this is the truth so many kiss away

There is more and more proof that climate change is in fact a reality. We even see it ourselves! Floods, droughts, tsunamis, earthquakes the list goes on and on….something is messed up about this series of unfortunate events. Though its not happening as fast as the disaster movies all over the world, we are getting small signals here and there. . . and STILL we choose to sleep.

We can ignore the facts if we chose

But in the end we will lose

We surrender the war

Before trying to score

Because it’s easier to die in our sleep

I’m going to the Galapagos because I found it as an opportunity to do something for the better. Though everything that is happening, is a problem within a problem within a problem. I’m tired of sitting around and doing nothing about it. My own personal solution is to contribute to ecological projects such as these, to help us breathe for just a little longer. “What are you doing? “ That is actually how I answered my friend. And for once in her life she had nothing to say.

End of Journal Entry:

The thing with writing when your “heated” is that sometimes it's a bit exaggerated. Now that I am reading this again I know that there is no proof of a relation between those natural disasters and the planets degradation. But for our air quality, I am still 100% in agreement with. The rate of children that are born asthmatic these days has increased immensely over time! Today it's the most in history….Why can’t the children breathe?